My friend (let’s call him Sal) had a girl (let’s call her Diane) reach out to him from meetup.com to see if he wanted to meet up. Sal had coupons and said sure, why not… after all, he could always use the company and share a (discounted) meal with someone. Sal didn’t think it was a date, but the hangout still went well. They kept a conversation and even had some chemistry.
Shortly after, he got let go of his job and decided that finding a job was his priority, thus cutting off communications from Diane. But fate has it when a few months later (basically this week), they connected again over coffee meets bagel. She messaged him.
He messaged me… “What should I say?” “She’s so pretty” “Can’t believe we connected again”. Yada yada yada. I told him to start with this “Happy donut day! Turns out I still have your number 🙂 what’s your favorite donut? I’m sad I’m not going to get a chance to get some today”. Long story short, he now has a dessert date because he became more assertive.
However, the part you didn’t hear was the excuse after excuse after excuse. “Oh, I don’t know what to say” or “She’s out of my league” or “It’s been too long”. Though he wanted to go out with Diane because they had a fun time, he second guessed himself. Well Sal, if you don’t want to go out with a smart, attractive, and confident women who specifically reached out to you twice, then keep up with your excuses!
I’m sure we can all find excuses for anything. Oh, i’m late to work because of traffic. I didn’t do this because I was tired. I can’t make it to this because my dog needs me. But I believe that not matter how scared, lazy, traumatized, or confident you are, if you really want it, you’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen. Otherwise, it’s not on the top of your priority list and that’s totally okay too! But if you want it, create small action steps to achieving your goals. Enlist your friends, family and mentors to help. With Sal, he just needed a good friend like me to kicked his ass to do so (figuratively of course). Hey, whatever motivates you.
Sal, I wish you luck on your date this week. With your dessert in hand, I hope you have fun and I’m crossing my fingers that you’re one step closer to Finding Your Peanut Butter!